Woes of Propaganda: An RS Tale

posted by on 29th September 2008, at 8:47pm

After epicly failing at writing my first RS story, I’ve decided to try again and see if it would be any better than my dismal first attempt.  Basically what I do is have someone suggest an opening sentence for me and then I’ll write a story based off that sentence.  Thanks to Kirby for submitting this tale’s opening sentence.

*Note: Characters in this story may not be portrayed exactly like they are in Runescape.  Oh well, if I made their personalities like their RS ones it would be one boring story indeed.  Also, some things in this story are not true in RS.  Basically, just keep in mind that this is all fiction.

Without further ado, the sentence:

The essence of ancient has finally been hit with technology; adding a few mystical new ways of training the Runecrafting skill along with the futuristic touch of a new guild…

The wizard Sedridor paused, the ink-dip quill in his right hand slowing to a stop as he shook his head.  That sentence would be impossible for dim-witted people to understand (who, in his opinion, made up more than half of the world’s population).  “Blasted fools,” he muttered, scrunching up the piece of parchment he was writing on into a small ball and tossing it to an obscure corner of the room that was already full of many other wrinkled papers.  He leaned over to grab another sheet of parchment.  “Trailborn knows I can’t write to save my life.  Why can’t he write the bloody advertisement himself?”  Sedridor sighed, reminiscing on the events that had happened a few hours ago.

They were all seated at a round table – Trailborn, Mizgog, Grayzag, and himself.  He worked hard to contain his excitement as he stood up and turned to look at his comrades.  “Well my fellow wizards, I have done it.”

The others looked at him intently, wondering what on earth the wizard had managed to achieved in the many hours he had spent in the tower’s basement.  “Spit it out Sedridor,” growled Mizgog.  “I have little patience and you’re testing it rather well.”

“Well my dear friend, patience is a virtue,” Sedridor retorted.  “But,” he added quickly as he saw the wizard’s face get beet red, “I will not tarry on for our sakes, as the news is rather important that I wish to share.”  Truthfully though Sedridor would have droned on and on just for the sake of watching Mizgog explode.  He was not one of Sedridor’s favorite people.

“Anyway, I have finished my work on a guild for Runecrafting.”  He paused, waiting for ecstatic cries to echo through the room.  When none came, he cleared his throat and continued.  “Within this guild, my colleagues Acantha and Vief  continue to bicker over what color orb can create rune stones.  They refuse to listen to my input so I’ve decided to enlist the help of local civilians-”

“What?!” Trailborn shouted, standing up and cutting Sedridor off quickly.  “You mean you want MORE of those people wearing ridiculous armor and carrying huge weapons or bows storming into our tower?  We have enough of those people outside every day attacking those decoy wizards around the tower!  It’s hard enough to get some peace and quiet around here and now we’ll have to deal with pesky intruders parading around in order to solve some argument about colored ORBS?!”

“Relax Trailborn, there’s a portal that will teleport them to a place away from your chambers,” said Sedridor.  He conveniently left out the part that the portal was right outside the wizard’s room.  “Besides, might I remind you that the main reason our peace and quiet is disrupted is because of you doing who knows what up on the second floor?  Something with imps?”  In response, Trailborn closed his mouth and sat back down.

“Back to the topic at hand,” said Sedridor.  “The guild is open to the public, but now I need some way for the public to notice it.  I mean, we are pretty much in a remote part of the world.  In fact if it weren’t for that hundred some foot bridge out front we wouldn’t even be connected to the world… But anyway.  I need a way to broadcast this new guild to the people.  Do any of you have any suggestions?”

A pairs of eyes turned to stare at him like he was the most stupid person alive.  “What?” Sedridor asked.

“You called up a meeting just to ask us how to advertise YOUR new guild?” spluttered Mizgog.  “It’s your idea after all!  Why would we care?”

“Well I thought we all agreed that the study of runes was important to advancing our knowledge of the world,” retorted Sedridor.

“Well I, for one, have no idea, and I, for one, don’t care, and I, for one, feel that this meeting is now complete.”  Mizgog pushed back his chair and turned to leave.

“Hold it Mizgog!” Trailborn said.  “You know our rules, you can’t leave a meeting until the one who called it has dismissed it, who in this case would be Sedridor.”  Mizgog did nothing except stop and fume, but after a minute he stalked back to his seat and sat down, eyeing Sedridor like he had put a death wish on the wizard.  Sedridor gave Trailborn a small smile.  Despite however annoying the wizard could be, Trailborn was still the head wizard of the tower who no one disobeyed.

“Well,” Grayzag said quietly, “you could just write an ad that will catch peoples’ attention and then duplicate them and teleport them around the world.”

“But will people notice them?” asked Sedridor.

“I don’t see why not,” Grayzag replied.  “You’re a wizard after all, surely you can come up with something ‘catchy’ as people call it.  You could even magic the paper to blind all who come within a fifty foot radius of it or something.  That would definitely get people to notice it.”

“Hm, that’s definitely an idea I could use,” Sedridor said.  He silently thanked Grayzag for being the sole voice of reason within the tower.  “Does anyone else have anything?”  He glanced at Mizgog, thought twice about it, then looked at Trailborn and thought better about it, for if the head wizard had any ideas he would have been the first voice to be heard.  “Alright then,” Sedridor sighed.  “Trailborn, can you write it?  You’re the head wizard and you do all the official tower business anyway.”

“I’ll pass, thank you,” Trailborn replied.  “It’s your guild after all, and you know I’m not creative with that kind of thing.  You can do it.”

“But you write everything else about the Wizard’s Tower!” Sedridor protested.

Trailborn shrugged.  “Spur of the moment ideas.  Anyway, you got your answer Sedridor, so can the meeting end soon?  I have some paperwork to get to…”

“Paperwork,” muttered Sedridor disbelievingly.  He contemplated dragging the meeting on because he could, but one look at Mizgog’s face made him think again.  “Fine.  Meeting dismissed.”

Sedridor looked at the blank piece of parchment that he was tapping his quill on, trying to will his mind to think of something that would attract wandering eyes to the guild.  It was hard to concentrate as well, for he could faintly hear Acantha and Vief screaming at each other in a nearby room.  With a growl of annoyance and discontent he threw down his quill, nearly snapping it in half.  Trailborn, though a wizard to be respected, had to be the most lazy person Sedridor had ever met.  Paperwork…more like getting some beauty sleep.

Sedridor decided to call it a day, as his head was throbbing from excessive thinking for the ad.  A nice rest always refreshed him and helped him think of new things.  Besides, strange things seemed to happen when the day passed, such as what he had heard from other guilds – people appeared at the guild’s doorstep the day after it was created, despite having no word spread about it.

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