INTRO

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Thieving guild, eh? I think the majority of us are still vying for the herblore or fletching guild, but thieving? I always figured the Rogue’s Den, or Pyramid Plunder, or even the centre of Ardougne in general was already the thieving guild. But now they made it official with an actual place you can go to so you can directly train the skill.

And don’t get me wrong, it’s actually a pretty darn good place provided you get it registered as an actual guild. Whack people over the head, picklock safes, and all under such a controlled environment that you don’t even get injured, so you can do this day in and day out! What’s more, every week you can get a boost to your skill experience by cashing in a number of points dependant on your skill level when you train.

What I like about this guild, however, is your ability to make it improve the higher your thieving level is through the application of simple tasks, in which your prowess and cunning is tested. All guilds should be like that. This way, they are not only more available, but they gradually become useful again the more you improve yourself.

Right, onto business. I’m droning, and you wanna know how the quest is done.

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QUEST GUIDE

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It’s actually quite simple. This quest has 4 parts to it: the main quest for the quest point, and three extra missions that, upon completing, expand the guild into something more formal and beneficial to somebody of a higher thieving level.

If you’re a high thieving level, you get to show off your stuff by giving the guildmaster some pointers of your own. It’s the eye of the kyatt, it’s the will of the plight …

You start off the first part by heading down to the cellar of this guy’s house north of the furnace. There, you’ll meet two individuals: Chief Thief Robin (ha ha …) and the guildmaster himself. Go ahead and listen to his speech (yeah right …), and then offer your “services” to begin the quest.

Your task is to infiltrate the Lumbridge bank vault and steal this holy grail so that the guildmaster can expand his guild. Meet Robin on the side of the castle to plan the infiltration. Because Jagex are such nice people, they have even highlighted the minimal with key destinations encased in blue squares!

Oh, plot change! Turns out the owner, Father Urhney, already withdrew it and brought it to his house. Living alone in the midst of the swamp, he definitely would notice somebody poking around. Things just got a little harder.

Or easier. Head to Father Urhney’s and bring up the chalice. Of course, no matter what you say to him, he’s not going to budge. So you’re going to need a distraction to pick his pocket for the key and steal the cup.

Robin’s got the right idea. Light a fire outside his window and get him to panic. He’ll hand you a tinderbox, and says there’s lots of damp wood in the swamp. Heck with that, you can get yourself some logs from the Lumbridge castle roof instead and make life easier.

Anyways, light a fire outside Urhney’s window. Or get a friend to do it. Or get a clan and surround his house with fires, it doesn’t matter. Once the fire’s burning, chat with him again, mention the chalice, and then shout “Fire! FIRE!”.

Being a calm, religious meditator as he is, he will, of course, freak out like a girl scout in the back room of a butcher shop. Pick his pocket and steal his cup as he casually walks around screaming, and leg it back to the guildmaster.

Hand it over, and you’re done. Easy!

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… for the first part. Get your quest cape back on and immediately head back downstairs.

Your good friend put the money to use, but he needs more. So he’s got a very cunning, but downright evil plan. He commissioned an incredibly intricate toy dragon from a dwarf entrepreneur for a great deal of money. What he wants is for you to steal the dragon, then ask for it, and because he is unable to turn it over before the deadline, he will have no choice but to return the money, so your guild will not only have not lost any money, but also have gained a valuable asset sold to the highest bidder.

…which isn’t you, unfortunately. I know, I totally wanted one …

So, head to Varrock. You’ll find him in the marketplace under the watchful eye of a rare, employee-benefit unattackable guard. Interesting. Not only must you distract the dwarf, but the guard at the same time. How will we do this?

Chat with the guard and ask him about the dwarf. You’ll learn he keeps a talisman in his back pocket. Interesting.

Have a chat with the dwarf now, and you’ll immediately notice the incredible-looking, adorably cute toy ruby dragon. Again, me want.

So, how shall we do this? Pick his pocket for the talisman, and just casually drop it just a bit to the north of him. Then point it out that he dropped his talisman. Now he’s totally distracted, and taking his sweet time, too.

Immediately run to the guard and talk to him. Point out that Romeo’s mental, and he’ll order a pizza with pineapples on his cell phone.

Once both are totally not facing the stall anymore, jack the dragon and vanish without a trace.

Then return immediately. Chat with the dwarf again and say you’re here to retrieve the dragon. After a brief panic and some very heartbreaking words, he’ll give you the slip. … well, the bank slip, I mean.

Return with the goods to the guildmaster, and receive your reward of extra experience. Wicked.

Oh, and if you really want to torment that poor dwarf, return to him, chat with him, point out he dropped his talisman again, and you’ll yoink yourself his craftsman monocle. At the moment, it appears to only serve as something that looks neat when worn, but I’m yet to be proven otherwise. Maybe it gives bonus crafting experience? I dunno.

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Continuing the process. Talk with … ok, his name’s Darren. There. Sorry, I just can’t keep calling that so-called “leader” a guildmaster anymore. He’s too full of himself for anything less. What Robin sees in him is beyond me.

At least he’s got the facts. And the influence. He’ll tell you a story that involves solidified fire, an explosion, and a very unlucky sorceress. … that would explain that loud noise last night …

He’ll tell you that shards of this solidified fire flew everywhere, and … ok, I’ll spare the details. Each of the pickpocketable dudes lower than and excluding knights will have 6 shards each. There are several varieties, and the drop is about 1 in 5, so pickpocket whatever you need until you have 32 shards. Naturally, this means that you don’t have to pickpocket everything.

Quite simple, right? Just run around (with your Ardougne cape and dark kebbit gloves on for added effect) and steal the salaries of just about anything in the free-to-play area until you have 32 shards. Again, you can only get 6 from one specific dude, so you’ll have to choose at least 6 targets.

Once you get all 32 (or even 8, for starters), return to the guild and turn them over. You will be rewarded for every set of 8 you turn over, which involves you going on a back-and-forth between Darren and Robin, losing flame shards and gaining goodies. Nice ones, too.

Once you turn over all 32, you get a special bonus. Advanced pickpocketing techniques that will let you pickpocket all these guys that were on your list and get more loot! How much more, you ask?

From a guard, you used to get 30 each. Now, you can get a random number from 25 up to 50 (estimated, of course, I’m still in the process of testing). Of course, chances you get more than 30 are well-enough higher than getting less, so this is definitely a worthwhile reward.

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Finally, it’s time for the big one. It’s time to get the Thieving Guild officially registered as an official guild. What’ll that do? Publicity! Why does a thieving guild need publicity? You got me there!

Anyways, this one will involve preparation on your part. You will need a blackjack and lockpick, which can both be bought at their brand new store there, as well as a stink-potion comprised of irit leaf and chopped onion (involves onion, bowl, and knife – use onion on bowl). Turn this potion over to Robin, he’ll do a bit of magic, and then you’re all set.

Teleport to Ardougne and enter the building to the southeast. It’s the lone one in the corner with two guys inside, just so you know.

Enter the place. Once again, you have not one, but two guys to distract. The lady secretary and the hero guard. Of course, these guys are both professionals – paranoid in the most extreme sense. So, what do you do?

Have a chat with the secretary and learn about the security system, for starts. You have to get this lever pulled, which she guards and he has the key for. Tough one, since he is very sensitive.

Now, pickpocket the secretary for the clock key. Wind the bejebbies out the clock, and let it spaz out. The secretary will leave her post and start going ballistic on the clock.

Now, lure the guard by imitating her voice, and he’ll check if she needs help. Club him over the head with the blackjack (make sure you have it equipped) and jack the key. To help nullify your time constraint, she will start dusting for no reason after fixing the clock, so you can get the lever pulled and head downstairs.

Disaster! They’ve discovered what’s going on and that you’re downstairs! You hear a click. The trapdoor’s locked! You’re trapped!

… ha ha, or so they think. Picklock the door, check the chest trap, and obtain the bonds. Then, inspect the box nearby and crawl out the duct.

Now bank your stinkbomb (trust me, you’ll want this later) and re-enter. After a discussion and a laugh, hand over the bonds, and you’ll have officially registered the thieving guild!

Congratulations! It’s all done! You will get your experience reward, and the thieving guild will get itself a bank! Wicked!

And as a bonus, your stinkbomb will let you steal from stalls and stuff, and you will still be able to trade with them! Otherwise, they would call the guards over.

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ALEX’S ANALYSIS

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So, the guild works like this. You can picklock doors and chests, crack open safes, pickpocket the trainer and volunteers, and distract and whack people over the head with a rubber blackjack and loot their unconscious bodies. Doing all of this will reward you with hanky points, to which you can collect up to 76 and cash in 76 once per week. This will net you about the equivalent experience as collecting both thieving rocks for the Dahmoroc statue. Not much, but it’s still quite a nice, easy-to-get bonus. Luring and looting’s your best method of collecting, since you get 4 points for successful go’s.

It’s a nice guild and all for training, but the better point of thieving is that it rewards. The guild here only trains, and at a speed that can totally be matched by a more profitable means, despite the danger involved. Nevertheless, if you just need that bit of extra experience, this is a good place to go without the fear of getting owned in the process.

Not to mention there’s a bank there. Not the world’s best place for a bank, but it’s still there if you’re in the neighbourhood.

I personally give a thumbs up to the enjoyment of the quest, save for the guilt of me putting that poor dwarf out of business and NOT GETTING A RUBY TOY DRAGON FOR MYSELF, THANK YOU! Nevertheless, the rewards themselves are useful (more money from pickpocketing and the ability to steal from stalls and sell it right back is pretty boss), and this is one more guild out of the way in preparation for my long-anticipated Construction Guild …

All in all, I give this update a 4.2 out of 5. Thumbs up for the rewards, but again, there kind of already is a “thieving guild” out there, per-say. Thanks for the fun quest, though.

But as a final note, I do have to wonder. How do Jagex know so much about thieving to implement it so well in the game?

*Wink*