posted by on 25th August 2008, at 8:30pm

Ever wonder why you aren’t allowed to give the direct answer on the RuneScape forums about a quest? It’s because the RSSFDTTE has made rules which make it illegal to do so.

Do you remember when I did that article on The Land of the Goblins? They had me put a “SPOILER ALERT” on the top of the article so that people would know that my article was detailed. Ever since then, they have been sending me letters telling me to put an alert on every article I do which gives even a small amount of information. If they can tell me how to write an article which doesn’t give any information then I’ll put an alert on all my articles. But until they do, I will not put anymore of their silly alerts on my articles – it’s a waste of space and my readers time!

Instead of giving information about a skill, update, or aspect of the game I will talk about the RSSFDTTE and tell you who created it and why.

The first thing you- What’s this?

“Umm, sir.”


“I am a representative of the RSSFDTTE and have been sent to make sure you put a spoiler alert on this article or stop writing it.”

Have you read what I said above?

“Umm, well, no. I wasn’t here then.”

Then please read it.

The representative starts reading.

“Oh hehehe.”

Excuse me?

“You must be joking, it’s impossible to stop us from putting a SPOILER ALERT on your articles. You see, after you’re done writing it we put the alert on anyways right before it get’s published.”

I’m sorry, my publisher wouldn’t allow that. Now if you have anything useful to add to this article then please say it, otherwise please leave.

“I do have something to add. You want to know how to write an article which gives no information?”

Sure (Whisper: If he can really write an article which yields no information then I’ll jump off of Varrock Castle.).

“Ok, here it is.”


SPOILER ALERT: This article contains information which The RSSFDTTE may not want anyone to know. If you do not want to get in trouble with them then please push the “Power off” button on your computer now. Thank you.


You call that an article?

“Yes, I publish hundreds of articles like that weekly. I’m the most active writer on the RSSFDTTE Staff.”

Charming. You didn’t even tell them what the point of the article was!

“The article is supposed to contain no information.”

You’re annoying, did you know that?

“No…why am I annoying?”

Many reasons, all of which I will not name here for it would take too long. Please leave.


Because I asked.

“But I haven’t put the SPOILER ALERT on your article yet.”

I asked nicely, now please leave.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that until I put this SPOILER ALERT on the top of your article.”

This is your last chance, leave or face the consequences.

“If you hurt me then you’ll have the RSSFDTTE to deal with.”

Oh no, not them!

“Oh yes, them.”

Enough with the games, you’ve had your chance.

Thy cause was false,
Thine skills did lack,
See you in Lumbridge when you get back

“Oh you wouldn’t dare.”

No, he wouldn’t, but I would.

“W-what? W-who are you?”

Your worst nightmare.

Both the mysterious figure and the representative for the RSSFDTTE disappear in blackness.

I told him he should’ve left. Isn’t it great having friends in dark places? 🙂

Now what was I talking about? Ahh yes. The first thing you’ll want to know is what “RSSFDTTE” stands for.


Now that you know what it stands for, we can move on to other things.

Why was the RSSFDTTE created?

There was once a group of people who loved to complete quests and master every skill in RuneScape. They always thoroughly investigated every aspect of the quest they were on to make sure they were doing it correctly.

When they went to start the last quest in RuneScape they were met by another group of questers. This group was much younger then them.

After both groups had talked with each other for awhile, the leader of the younger group challenged the Older, more experienced, group.

“I challenge you and your friends to a test of skills, endurance, and intelligence. Whoever finishes this Legendary quest first is the better team. Do you accept?” Negoram, the leader of the inexperienced group, said.

“I do not think that is fair,” Le Dunnahil, the experienced leader of the older group, said, “we have more experience and have finished every other quest. I do not think this would be a fair challenge.”

“Oh it’ll be fair,” Negoram said with a smirk and wink to one of his friends, “may the best team win.”

And that was the start. Le Dunnahil and his friends had never seen these newcomers before yet these new people were willing to challenge the most experienced questers in all of RuneScape history.

There are far too many details involved in this quest for me to be able to state them all in this article, so I will only tell you the outcome.

In the end Negoram and his group finished the quest a whole six hours before Le Dunnahil and his friends.

What does this have to do with the RSSFDTTE? Negoram and his group chose the fast and easy way of doing the quest, though there was only one way. They were doing everything fast and were using the least strenuous routes. Le Dunnahil and his friends investigated everything to make sure they didn’t miss anything. It took them six more hours, but it was worth it. You see, both teams had to defeat an extremely strong demon. Negoram and his team defeated it once and saw it shrink into ashes, so they thought it was truly dead. Le Dunnahil and his team defeated the demon twice and, finally killed it the third time they fought it.

Negoram and his team chose the quick and easy way which led to their rewards. But later, the demon which they had only defeated but didn’t kill came back to attack the friends they had made during the quest.

Le Dunnahil and his team chose the long and arduous way which also led to rewards. They killed the demon, rather than just defeating it. The friends they made during the quest were safe.

Le Dunnahil and his friends later came back to deal with the demon which Negoram and his friends had left. Afterwards, Le Dunnahil and his friends vowed to do everything within their power to stop people from taking the quick and easy route. They new this was an impossible quest, but they would try their best to complete it.

The reason they wanted to stop people from taking the quick and easy route is because it almost always either hurts someone or doesn’t last. They didn’t want anyone else getting hurt like the people they met in the quest did.

Over the years their group and the meaning has changed, they now try to warn people of the effects of the quick and easy, mainly in the media area. Unfortunately, nowadays they don’t know where to stop. They’re trying to say that nearly everything which gives some information about RuneScape will tell you the easy way. What the RSSFDTTE doesn’t know and won’t ever try to understand is that the quick and easy way can be good in some cases. Their founders only ever saw the negative effects of the quick and easy way, and this new younger generation is too scared to try it.


So now you know who the RSSFDTTE are. Any Questions?

“Why did you say ‘because you really don’t want to get them angry’ in your ‘SPOILER ALERT’ in an earlier article?”

Because, though they aren’t very smart and are cowardly when it comes to trying new things, they have 5 extremely strong Warriors which are all level 500. I don’t really want to try to fight all 5 and I don’t want to bother Skyrate, so I just try to keep them satisfied.

“Why did you say ‘I hope the RSSFDTTE won’t get on me again, they’re rather heavy’?”

That was mainly just a play on words. However, due to them being scared of trying new things, most of them are rather….heavy.

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