Since RuneScape’s inception, people have wanted it to be better. There have been probably millions of suggestions throughout the time RuneScape has existed. Many of these are frankly terrible. Many of them simply wouldn’t work. And many of them of them have been very prolific throughout the time RuneScape has existed. Every now and then, you’ll see an idea pop up again and again and each time, Jagex ignores the suggestion. A lot of these have been placed on the do-not-suggest list on the RuneScape forums, or on other fansites.

But… what would RuneScape be like if Jagex had implemented these ideas? And why did Jagex knock them down or simply ignore them when suggested? In this article, I’ll look at just a few.

Ahh, horses. People have been asking for horses as long as RuneScape has existed, practically. Right the way through from RuneScape classic and still suggestions for horses pop up every now and again. How easy it would be to ride around RuneScape on horses instead of having to put up with walking or running! And they’d never get tired! And it would be four times faster than running! Wouldn’t it just be great?! You have to agree!

What would RuneScape be like with Horses?

Clearly, getting around would be easier. Too much easier. There are already too many ways of getting around everywhere, from the boat down the river Lum to fairy rings and magic trees. Horses would practically make these obselete and no-one would ever want to walk again. Eventually we’d all lose our legs and be born permanently fused to a horses back.

Or maybe not. But why would anyone want to walk anywhere anymore? Horses would be far faster. Walking would be what noobs did.

Ok, there is the issue of going indoors – obviously you’d still use your legs then, and you’d have to leave a horse outside or put it in your inventory (ROTFL). If you did leave it outside, what would happen in places like the dwarven mines, where you can go in next to the Ice Mountain and pop out in Falador? Are you supposed to leave the thing shivering to death on that mountain? No. That’s animal cruelty. And animal cruelty is on Jagex’s do-not-suggest list. It’s also, you know, morally wrong. Or something.

Could it ever be implemented?

Err, no. A horse would either be an unnecessary, unused and pointless thing (if it were the same speed as a person) or it would give a rediculously unfair advantage.

We’re soon to see a summoning update, and in the various forms that suggestion has come in, there has been the idea of Necromancy. This is possibly one of the most stupid ideas anyone has ever come up with.

What would RuneScape be like with Necromancy?

Well, let’s think for a second. You’re against the KBD or Kalphite Queen. A previously incredibly difficult monster to beat. Hmm, yes, here’s a good idea. I’ll make an undead greater demon fight it for me.

Would anyone like some tea and scones?

Clearly making something do your dirty work for you is bad in a few ways: firstly, it makes RuneScape incredibly easy to the point where it’s just boring. Second, all the previously brave and noble knights would be replaced by some pussies with no combat skills who, once they have run out of runes or whatever to bring stuff back from the dead, would promptly flee like the wusses they are. If you get something to do stuff for you, you don’t get better yourself.

Third, what if your summoned undead horde turns on you? Then you’re screwed.

Could it ever be implemented?

Yes, but the only way of making it so it wasn’t stupidly unfair would be to give your undead horde monsters some kind of limit as to how much damage they can do, how much HP they have, how many turns they can stay alive, whether it can be used in the Wilderness, and, of course, whether they’d turn on you and attempt to eat your brainssssssssss……

Everyone loves WoW! And WoW has a desktop client! Let’s make RuneScape have a desktop client!

Or not.

What would RuneScape be like if it were a desktop client?

Well, the graphics would be better.

There isn’t really much of an easy answer. It would invariably be more expensive – most games like WoW and such which have a subscription-based service are more than $10 per month, whereas RuneScape is a puny $5. It would also undoubtedly be primarily Windows based, with a slim chance of Mac support and an even slimmer chance of Linux support. But what about Solaris? What about the other hundreds of systems which can, at the moment, run RuneScape easily since it’s just a Java applet, but would almost definetely not be supported by a desktop client. RuneScape is a Java applet because you develop one applet for all systems – you don’t have to worry about developing loads of different programs for all your systems.

Clearly this would mean one of two things: the price of RuneScape goes through the roof, which no option for f2p because of the increased cost of creating the game, or you’d get practically no updates. Maybe one a month, versus the average of one or two a week now. And it would take ages to update and you’d have to patch stuff and download a huge file every time you wanted the new features and… you get the picture. It’s a Java applet because it’s easier for both user and developer.

Could it ever be implemented?

There is a technology Sun (the creators of Java) made around a year ago called JOGL, or Java OpenGL. If Jagex were to make a tiny client which loaded the applet (like their current Windows client) for every operating system, then used JOGL for the graphics of the applet, there would be a significant improvement. This would, however, mean more work for the 3D modellers, and would require a complete rewrite of the graphics framework. Another problem, of course, is that not all systems support OpenGL fully – for example if you run Linux just with a basic driver to display 2D stuff, it completely wouldn’t work.

It’s possible. But it would be a lot of work. And RuneScape wouldn’t be as accessible as before, although it would be slightly more accessible than if it were a client written in C++ and DirectX or something.

Because everyone obviously has some extreme loathing of cats for some reason.

What would RuneScape be like if it had pets other than cats?

Well, what else are you going to have?

Maybe you could have a dog. If it were a big dog, this would practically be the same as the Necromancy idea listed above – you could make the dog do the work for you. If it were a small dog, one of the annoying little ones which doesn’t bark but yips, then it would practically be a cat anyway.

How about a fish? What’s it going to do, blow some bubbles to scare away the zombies? And how are you going to store the thing? Keep a fishbowl in your inventory? Then, you find, a few hours later, that while trying to stuff all that iron ore in your pack, you have gone and squished the fishbowl. The fish is dead. You cry.

A snake? Or a shark? A toad, maybe.

All of these ideas are clearly terrible. The cat is really the only thing that would be suitable. You could, I suppose, have a bird of some sort, but apart from sitting there looking pretty and demanding loads of worms every now and again, what’s it going to do?

My cat is in my bank. And has been for a while. There’s no point in just making more things for people to stuff in their bank all day.

Could it ever be implemented?

It could, and is. In a way. For those of you who have not heard of it yet, Jagex are going to be introducing summoning quite soon. It’s not summoning demons of zombies or fire elementals, though, but animals. So you get a kind of temporary pet which doesn’t have to freeze on ice mountain or annoy the bank attendants while it festers and meows in your account.

Currently, RuneScape has no Asian-themed areas, with Ninjas or Samurais, and the associated weapons. I remember, actually, desiring a samurai sword at some point, or a ninja mask, and the suggestion for it dates back before RuneScape 2 was introduced.

What would RuneScape be like if you could be a Ninja or Samurai?

Well, to be honest I think this would just be a fairly standard expansion update. Just in the same way the map has been extended and changed for pirate and penguins and tree gnomes and all the rest of it, Jagex could make a Chinese or Japanese area, with the associated architechture and some weapons.

But what about that combat triangle?

This is where things go a bit wrong. Ninja armour is… well… often not there. Armour makes you slow, and clearly being slow as not a good thing if you want to decapitate someone within five seconds of meeting them. So we get someone who is as defensive as a mage, but has a sword. Currently the combat triangle states that with mage armour, you’d get killed by ranger, and with a melee weapon, you’d kill a ranger.

And, as it happens, Ninjas were also rangers. Bows with razor-ripped arrows and poisons that would kill in minutes.

So the combat triangle ends up breaking down into a horrible looping mess.

How about Samurai?

Well, the Samurai might work a little better. Their armour, despite the fact it looks like it was made of leather or wood or something, typically had some rather huge iron plates in it – they are just knights. This, of course, opens up a smithing angle as well, making rune samurai armour or whatever.

But, come on. You can’t have a Samurai without a bit of mysticity and magic. Thus we get a knight who is impervious to sorcery, and can use magic too. This is called invincibility, and is a generally bad trait in a game where the three sides should be fairly balanced. Knight kills ranger. Ranger kills mage. Mage kills knight. Ninja kills ranger. Ranger kills Ninja. Ninja kills Ninja. Samurai kills everyone.

Clearly this would also not work.

Could it ever be implemented?

To fit in with the combat triangle, Samurais would have to suck. And implementing Ninjas or Assassins would be practically impossible, because of the way their fighting style screws around with the combat triangle. So no. No, it wouldn’t work.