Dex Delivers – A Guide To Girls (appropriate, don’t worry)

posted by on 30th September 2007, at 4:20pm

Well, Manya’s taking a day off (more like a month) his Manya’s Mayhem and Alex has gone to University, so I’m left to save his hide and position as an Informer Writer by writing about something that one would think I know nothing about.


You may think that as a master of Majiya, I know nothing about them, as I hardly interact with even the male species. Now, don’t get me wrong, majiya really helps me to understand them.

… I can read minds. Yaaaaaaah.

Anyways, I can’t share ALL my secrets to you, otherwise I’ll be hunted down. Not that I can’t handle myself against them, mind you, So I’ll keep things simple. BULLET POINTS!

Before you read on, let me tell you why you should. See, once you learn these secrets, you will have the edge against the opposite gender, leaving the only way to counter it residing in the coincidence that they have read this too. Thereby, you both share an interest in my work, giving you both something in common. Having something in common always helps a relationship! You can’t lose! So KEEP READING!

***If you are offended by any of the material you are about to read, then DON’T READ IT! It’s THAT simple.***

– First-off, girls like traveling in packs. Reason being, they are more comfortable with their own kind, but they are also used as external minds, sharing secrets and receiving analyzed opinions from multiple sources. This way, they don’t have to think as much, leaving them to focus their minds on more important things. If you want to get through to them, you gotta fight fire with fire. Bring a bunch of friends to distract the latter so you can actually get what you are telling her into her head. That way, her unused brain will have something to actually think about it, and it will be somewhat intertwined, so make sure you know what you’re saying.

– When you’re alone together, she is testing you. One slip and she immediately judges you, so try talking to her the same way her friends do. Listen in on their conversations and learn about their interests, then over-exagerate everything when talking about that.

– Some girls are similar to boys – nerdy, jock, good-lookin’, etc. Only try to match your type if you like who YOU are on the outside as well as inside. Otherwise, broaden your horizons and choose one that you want to be like. That way you can both learn from each other just how to be yourself and more. Just like selecting store products; some options may be too expensive or unreliable.

– If you’re impatient or really want to see who is right for you, try this quick little test. Start things off by letting slip a partially embarrassing secret about yourself (or someone you really really hate). One of two things are going to happen: Either she follows suit, meaning that you both apparently like each other and any sign otherwise is either by jealousy or a lie, OR … she’ll laugh at your existence as a human being and start talking about something completely different, meaning she doesn’t really like you, and will USE you to benefit herself somehow. If that happens, just walk away as though you got possessed by a brain-bug or something, and she’ll avoid you. Too easy. Oh, and if she just stares at you as though you were mental, she’s probably from another planet.

– Lastly, don’t get married. Children aren’t worth it. Just be roommates for the rest of your lives. That way, you CAN see other people, enjoy the company of others without jealousy, and save yourself a few thousand bucks several times over.

That’s it for now. Adios.

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