Another Slice of H.A.M.

Jagex says:
The Dorgeshuun were hesitant about the outside world at first, but now they are embracing contact with other cultures and are even building a long-distance rail link between Dorgesh-Kaan and the dwarf city of Keldagrim. But work is being held up by archaeological finds that date back to the early days of the city, including an ancient weapon connected with the goblins’ mysterious god.

If you’re an experienced archaeologist, you can help the cave goblins learn about their history and accompany Zanik on another trip to the surface. It should be a simple mission – unless the dastardly Sigmund makes an appearance…

In this new quest we’ve tried to recreate some of the elements that made Death to the Dorgeshuun popular. You can take Zanik to another part of the surface, gain new goblin companions, and have another showdown with the villainous Sigmund. It also advances the cave goblin storyline and sheds a little more light on Zanik’s destiny – while leaving more for future installments…
Yes, ‘another’, It’s as if they’re concentrating on meat over death plagues and the conspiracy behind said death plagues. They never end with the hilarity behind the name, will they? But enough about my concerns about Jagex’s priorities; I read the Behind the Scenes and I expected this quest quite a while ago.

The “Another Slice of HAM” Quest is started with Ur-Tag, the current Mayor of Dorgesh-Kaan. Dorgesh-Kaan, as the name sort of implies, is the home city of the Dorgeshunn Cave Goblins. As some of you who have been there may notice, there was a Dwarf Ambassador in some house. Now he’s with Ur-Tag, apparently arguing over a matter in which it will take a certain human to solve. That human is also known as you.

As you would most likely suspect, you have to help the Cave Goblins clear the tunnel of ancient artifacts that were uncovered while the tunnel for the huge steam engine thing was being dug. The fact that the goblins halted work and stopped the dwarf builders from advancing is what the dwarf ambassador and Ur-Tag are arguing about. You, with your Digsite Quest experience, uncover the stuff and clean them off. One thing you find as useful is a weird-looking mace. This mace, being so mysterious that the local scribe can’t even find anything about it, forces you to team up with Zanik once again.

This time, instead of kicking Ham A**, you find out about Cave Goblin History. Generals Bentnose and Wartface, being the most likely candidates of knowing much about goblin weapons, would know more about the mace.

They started by telling Grubfoot to shut up. Then they examined the mace. The mace was a gift by the ‘Big High War God’, as they said. They then told Grubfoot to shut up again. But Grubfoot stood up as he told the Generals off. (Dang!) Zanik turned out to be the “Big High Goblin Commander Who Isn’t As Big And High As The Big High War God”

Before Zanik could order around the goblins, HAM attacks. (Boy, and you were wondering why the quest was called that after a while.) You kill the losers and are confronted by none other than Sigmund. Sigmund kidnaps Zanik with barely any effort on his end or any resistance on your own. You join with two Goblin Warriors supplied by the generals to take down the HAM guards and then confront Sigmund.

What I like about quests that give new weapons is the special they come with, Especially when you need the Special Attack of said weapon to defeat the enemy. The special attack uses all of your special energy, but it cuts the enemy’s prayer right down to zero, removing all prayer. It cuts through the prayer as well like Verac’s full armor set. What rules more is that whatever prayer you take down, you get your prayer super-charged, and so you can have 84/70 as your prayer point count after you use the special on someone.

Since I’m not much of a spoiler-sport, you don’t get much else apart from the really cool mace. As a rating, it’s actually a quest that’s worth doing. Just don’t die to the snipers. They might have AWPs.