Intro: The world would be a wonderful place if everything were able to communicate with everything else. In order to help enforce good communications, we at the SWC (Saradomin Warriors Chapel) have composed up a small guide to understanding the various languages of creatures all around Runescape. If anyone has anything to add to the language guide, you can PM Alex 43, since heâ€™s the only one out of all of us that ever checks the mail.
Speaking in Newbie:
Free stuff plz â€“ Laugh at me and call me names.
Can I hav yur armor â€“ Laugh at me and call me names.
What dat wepin â€“ Laugh at me and call me names.
Can u be my friend â€“ Laugh at me and call me names.
Be my bf/gf â€“ Laugh at me and call me names.
I made Runscape â€“ Laugh at me and call me names.
I am Jagex giv your pass or I ban you â€“ Laugh at me and call me names A LOT!
Plz â€“ Just keep laughing at me and calling me names. I can handle it.
Speaking in Ghost:
Wooo â€“ Good day to you.
Wooo â€“ Yes please.
Wooo â€“ No thank you.
Wooo â€“ Would you like to trade?
Wooo â€“ Long time no see.
Wooo â€“ Would you like something to drink?
Wooo â€“ Thank you, please come again.
Wooo â€“ Goodbye.
PLEASE NOTE: The extended versions of their speech determines their mood and method of speaking. For example, a quick Wo would mean they are speaking quickly, aggressively, or in shock, while an extended Wooooooo suggests stress, fatigue, or realization. It took me a while to figure this out.
– Alex 43
Speaking in Rat:
Meep â€“ Quantum physics is an intellectual past time that occupies our minds in an extremist manner.
Eek â€“ I sense a pulmonary aggression immolating directly from this convincingly obvious threat.
Squeak â€“ Can anyone assistingly help me calculate the molar enthalpy of this substance I am currently referring to so as to analyze its given acidity.
Sniff â€“ I am amplifying curiosity toward an unknown item of interest by differentiating between different ideals through my priliminary sense of smell.
I’m not even going to comment about this one.
Speaking in Leet:
1337 â€“ Suck.
U sux â€“ Youâ€™re the inspiration of my life.
I pWn you â€“ Forgive me, for I am unworthy to compete against you.
I r0x â€“ Iâ€™m pathetic.
Ph33r m4 1337 p0\/\/3rZ â€“ You rock.
1 4m 600n4 0wn2 y0uR p47he71c h10eZ â€“ I give up. You win.
N00b â€“ Myself.
J00 r 4 r3411y 5cr3w3d b3c4uz I c4n b347 j00 â€“ —UNTRANSLABLE—
Speaking in ogre:
Chompy â€“ Big ugly fanged pathetic excuse for a bird
Stick â€“ Vapourize
Glug-glug â€“ Poison chalice
Dead dog â€“ Better be BITS
Yums â€“ Cheese
Bestest â€“ Pink
Stabbers â€“ Bazookas
Speaking in Demon:
Hello â€“ Yum yum! Hello, morsel.
What are you doing â€“ Don’t concern yourself, you’re still gonna die.
What can I do for you â€“ You want to be baked, fried, or boiled?
Nice hat â€“ I see you brought an appetizer.
Prepare to die â€“ You look like youâ€™ll go well with cabbage and potatoes.
Goodbye â€“ Farewell forever! Mwa ha ha!
Speaking in Pker:
Bye â€“ Quick! Teleport from me!
Fu â€“ Free Underwear! (Acronym)
Noob â€“ I Need Officially Obsolete Brains! (Another acronym. They really like to think outside the box.)
Ancient â€“ Weâ€™re screwed.
**** – Whee! (Goodness knows why thatâ€™s censored.)
No â€“ Iâ€™m not doing THAT again.
Speaking in Dragon:
Hello. â€“ Hello.
How are you? â€“ How are you?
Want to stay for dinner? â€“ Want to stay for dinner?
Good to see you again. â€“ Good to see you again.
Farewell. â€“ Farewell.
PLEASE NOTE: My resources in this previous translation came from several black dragons and the King Black Dragon, who all took an interest in and have learned the proper method of speaking English so that they may properly taunt their pray before attacking, and itâ€™s just no fun when the prey looks at the dragon with a confused look and not understanding the taunt. Unfortunately for their own dragon language, I already understand it to the extent that it seems like English, so I cannot translate that for anyone else. Sorry.
Speaking in pirate:
Read the little book oâ€™ piracy. This is a PROFESSIONAL guide!
Speaking in Chaos Elemental:
â€¦ oh dear. You guys made ME do this. Um â€¦
Deer fly down the valley lamp â€“ Hi. (Only on every second Tuesday from 9:00 to 15:30)
Wotcher doing the brainy armpit noises in behind eleventeen saddles â€“ You dare trespass on MY territory? (Wednesdays only)
Canâ€™t it be cabbage to know worlds â€“ Iâ€™m going to kill you now. (Only heard him use this version twice)
Chess the fighting book of crackers and mustard for picture frames canâ€™t oppose the no-existent might of the dead goblin and wyverns games without the next Monday of medical cart month that doesnâ€™t be for four score and seven years ago lest amulet of accuracy eats? â€“ Iâ€™m at a loss for words. (Me too)
Sorry, that’s the best I can do. I’ve never really understood the Chaos Elemental very much, nor the people who think they can actually get a literate response from it by sending it letters. To be honest with you, I actually feel quite proud of myself at getting this far.
– Alex 43
Well, there you go! Have fun peacefully conversing with the many creatures of Runescape!
Or at least the ones with a “Talk-to” option. If they don’t, beat em’ up.