The Interview of a Player Moderator

posted by on 30th July 2006, at 5:25pm

I was looking for a story or something for the RSBANDBInformer because I was running out of time and didn’t have anything at the moment for it. I was scared that I might get kicked off the team and my life would add up to nothing!

Then I say a player moderator selling super sets in Edgeville and thought, “That’s it! I can interview a player moderator for the RSBANDBInformer.”

I began to then write down a script and a few questions for myself to ask the player moderator, such as:

– What did it feel like to be chosen as a player moderator?

– Do you think this extra uniqueness and popularity is really benefiting you?

– What types of seeds do you plant on Thursdays?

– What’s the square root of 64?

Once I had all the questions I wanted to ask down, I began to approach the player moderator. Then I stopped and thought how I was going to introduce myself. I could say, “Hello, I’m from, and I was wondering if you would like to grant me an interview.”

But then I stopped. If I did that, the player moderator would report me for advertising a website, I would lose my character, and it would be even more impossible to get a story for the RSBANDBInformer without a character, especially one so precious and well-kept as Alex 43.

So I instead began to reword the inquiry to say, “Hello, I’m from …”

But I stopped, because I didn’t know how I was going to introduce myself. Perhaps this player moderator knew about the RSBANDBInformer and maybe he didn’t. But what if he didn’t and thought it was just a big scam and reported me for that? That would be horrible!

So I decided that I was going to say, “Hello, I’m from a Runescape fan site newspaper crew. Would you grant me an interview?” Sounded good, not too formal, and it didn’t even advertise anything except Runescape fan sites, which a player moderator can not properly report me for.

But then I stopped again. Interviews meant asking questions. Personal questions. If the player moderator thought that, they would have reported me for sure! I can’t use that!

So I scrapped my piece of paper since it was full, grabbed another piece of paper, rewrote the questions, and then came up with a new introduction. Apparently, I didn’t want “give me personal information” to jump out at the player moderator, so I wrote as the introduction, “Hello, I’m from a Runescape fan site newspaper crew. Would you grant me an interview? I promise not to ask any personal questions and if you don’t want to answer a question I do ask, that is fine. I won’t force you to do anything.”

No way! That sounds like I’m sucking up to the player moderator and being a newbie. I scrapped the sheet of paper and got out another clean one. Then I shortened it and made it sound more professional, “Hello, I’m from a Ruenscape fan site newspaper crew. Would you grant me an interview? Nothing personal, just a few questions about Runescape.”

That sounded nice. But how would they reply? Would they ask which fan site, or why should I do this, or ignore me altogether? I had to come up with some answers for that. So grabbing yet another sheet of paper, I wrote a quick personal FAQ in case I am questioned about anything else, because I want this interview to be flawless.

Now that I was ready at last, I turned back to Runescape and realized that I had logged out. But before I was able to type in my username and such, I was called to lunch and had to leave for about 15 minutes. I practically inhaled 3 liters of sandwich material and rushed back to the computer. Then I logged on and realized that my annoying brother changed servers on my computer just so he could mine runite ore.

After breaking his nose 5 times over, I switched back to the server I was on and logged in. Good, the player moderator was still there! However, if I was going to conduct a proper interview, I would have to somehow get the player moderator away from the crowd. There would be no way I could write down his responses with all those “selling shark 1k”s. So maybe I should ask him, “Can you come here away from the crowd for a sec?”

No, I can’t. He’ll think that I’m trying to lure him into the wilderness and ignore me. Maybe I can private message him the interview? No, I’ll bet his private chat is probably as worse as Zezima’s. I probably can’t even PM him because it’s off.

I got it! I’ll tell him about the interview, and then ask him to come away from the crowd so I can do it! Perfect! I’m all set.

So I typed in my intro, “Hello, I’m from a Runescape fan site newspaper. Would you grant me an interview? Nothing personal.” Sounded ok. Could be better, but I really should just get this interview done.

Now all I have to do is approach him and press enter, then I’ll be well on my way to-

Wait a sec, where did he go?


And so, my formal apologies, RSBANDBInformer, that I was unable to get an interview of a player moderator for this month’s newspaper. Believe me, I tried my hardest to do it, but it just wasn’t possible.

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